


Let Her Go

by MeganLouise



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Sam's POV, That's all I can say, just pure fucking angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 12:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16832407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeganLouise/pseuds/MeganLouise
Summary: Based on the song "Let her go" by Passenger (which will be in italics) and the prompt I picked was “I love you, guys” which will have a strikethrough through it.





	Let Her Go

_Staring at the bottom of your glass_  
_Hoping one day you’ll make a dream last_  
_But dreams come slow and they go so fast_  
_You see her when you close your eyes_  
_Maybe one day you’ll understand why_  
_Everything you touch surely dies_

Sam sighed as he downed his drink and asked the bartender for another one. He knew drinking his sorrows away wouldn’t bring her back but he didn’t know what else to do. Dean would kill him if he saw him now and would tell him to move on but he couldn’t just move on and Dean didn’t know where he was. He could have stopped her from leaving or could have insisted to go with her but he didn’t. Everyone who he had loved apart from Dean had died and they were all his fault one way or another; Mom, Jess, Madison. He should have known something would happen to Y/N.

He looked at the bottle of his empty glass, which still hadn’t been filled and closed his eyes, remembering the day she left like it was yesterday even though it was a year ago.

**Y/N laughed as she ran up to him and Dean. “I’m off on a hunt…by myself this time as by the looks of it, it is only a vamp and only one state over.” She looked at him with her bright Y/E/C eyes , which was the first thing he was attracted to and a big grin on her face.**

**He raised his eyebrow. “Are you sure you are gonna be alright, babe? I can come with you if you want.” He looked at Dean, wanting him for backup but Dean shook his head.**

**“Y/N is your girlfriend. I have nothing to do with this but if I was you I would let her go.”**

**He sighed before nodding his head. “Alright but call us if you need back up.” He smiled as she hugged him tight and he returned the hug before pulling away and kissing her softly on the lips.**

**Y/N kissed him back before pulling away and hugging Dean tight. ~~“I love you, guys.~~ ” She giggled as she pulled away and ran off to get her bags. **

**He couldn’t help but hear something in his mind, wanting him to persuade her not to go as it didn’t feel right but he ignored it and let her go off on the hunt.**

**“See you in a couple of days.” She waved before walking out of the bunker and that was the last time he saw her.**

_Same old empty feeling in your heart_  
_Love comes slow and it goes so fast_  
_Well you see her when you fall asleep_  
_But never to touch and never to keep_  
_‘Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep_

He got brought out of his flashback with a cough from the bartender who had his drink in his hand and a concerned look on his face.

“You okay there?”

Sam looked at the mirror behind the bar and saw that he had been crying. “Yeah I’m I’m fine.” He quickly wiped his tears away and took a deep breath before he paid for his drink.

The bartender passed him it and nodded his head. “Okay then.” He went off to serve another customer as Sam downed that drink and stood up to make his way back to the motel.  
  
About an hour later, he got into the uncomfortable motel bed after taking forever to actually get back to the motel since he was that drunk and he slowly fell to sleep. He started dreaming about the day he got the call. That was all he had dreamt about for the past year.

**He was just catching up on reading Game of Thrones when he got a call from Y/N. He hoped she had finished the hunt early and was on her way back to the bunker so he quickly picked up the phone.**

**“Hey, sweetheart. You on your way home?”**

**“Is this sam?” A woman’s voice who he didn’t recognise spoke and that made him quickly sit up start to get worried.**

**“Yeah this is Sam. Who is this?”**

**“This is Nurse Beckett from Colorado Plains Medical Centre in Font Morgan.” He heard her slow tone of voice before hearing her sigh. “A woman called Y/N was brought in after being in what seems like multiple bear attacks. I’m afraid she didn’t make it and this number was the first to come up on her cell phone.”**

**It was at that moment when Sam’s whole world came crashing down and he couldn’t move or even speak until the nurse started speaking.**

**“Sam….Sam!”**

**He felt tears build up in his eyes. He should have listened to his instincts and have gone with her but he didn’t and the only woman he truly loved and cared about after Jess was gone. “I’m on my way.”**

He always woke up before he got the chance to touch her for one last time at the hospital and he always had tears pouring down his face everytime he woke up. He looked at his phone and saw that it was 2 in the morning and the year anniversary of her death.

 _Cause you only need the light when it’s burning low_  
_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_  
_Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low_  
_Only hate the road when you’re missing home_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_  
_And you let her go_

He took a deep breath and stood up before making his way over to the bathroom to look in the mirror. He looked a mess and he knew it as he had hardly had any sleep in months and he didn’t eat that much despite Dean and Cas trying to get him to eat properly. Also, the fact he drank lots last night did not help but he tried to ignore the headache. Maybe I deserved all the heartbreak, he thought while sighing.

After, getting a quick shower he shook his head and got changed and packed his bag before heading out to the impala, which he took without Dean knowing. He knew Dean was going to kill him but he didn’t care as he needed some time to himself.

He got into the car and chucked his bag in the back before setting off back to the bunker. Suddenly, he thought about what Y/N would think if she saw him right now. Maybe she would want him to remember all the fun times they had together and move on.

Sam looked at the road ahead and smiled softly as it started snowing for some reason, remembering all the fun times him and Y/N had. Maybe it was time to move on and let her go.


End file.
